Tuesday, 17 June 2014
Wednesday, 12 February 2014
Tuesday, 4 February 2014
This post has been inspired by the very carageous post by The Badass Breastfeeder (linking Isn't working on the app so I'll post a linknto her post at the end of the post.)
When I fell pregnant with C something told me this was going to be my take home baby. At last. I didnt really think about gender at any point. I just automatically assumed I would have a girl. I dont know why. But as I started preparing for what laid ahead all that was in my head was 'my daughter'.
I wanted to be a mum for as long as I can remember. But whenever I pictured motherhood it was always pigtails and dresses and shopping trips with my little girl. I never once in the entire time I was trying to conceive even thought that my baby might be a boy. Football kits and rainy Saturdays spent on a cold pitch? Not really my scene.
I pictured helping my daughter during her pregnancy, going baby shopping, watching her get married and having someone to simply have an amazing relationship with.
At 16 weeks pregnant we went for a private gender scan. As she scanned over my belly I caught a glimpse of his genitals. My heart sank a little bit. The the sonographer confirmed it. I thumbed up to hubby and put on a fake cheerful face. I was in shock. I didnt even know what boys liked to eat (it turns out the same as girls, ya know, FOOD!).
I was numb for a couple of weeks. I lost my mojo for getting ready. That was until I hit 21 weeks. By then I'd had weeks of my MIL (Mother in Law) calling my baby 'my boy' and giving me random bits of advice
About raising boys and how hard work they are blah blah blah.
At 21 weeks I broke. I said to hubby "I would rather kill me and this baby right now than your mother use MY son to try and replace your brother" (thats another story for another time) He didnt even get mad. But did do his best to reassure me that she wouldnt take over. But wahoo I'd finally said my son! Excitement kinda kicked in after this. I did have to to check between his legs when he was born but if im honest it was just so amazing just to hold this warm (slippery) gorgeous little boy that it didnt even matter what gender he was anymore. Boys have loads of great
qualities. I dont know what made me so fixated on thinking I would have a girl no questions asked. I grew up as one of 3 girls until my little brother was born 5 months before I left home. So maybe I just desired the whole sister bond thing for my own children. But brothers can get on well aswell cant they? (please say yes).
I've learnt alot the last few years. Especially since its taken 3.5 years so far to conceive number 2. I've (almost) let go of my desire for PINK and it turns out that kids like all the same things. This whole gender divide thing is all grown ups doing. I would still really love a daughter, but if I have 12 boys first so be it ;).
I do think gender dissapointment is a real thing. My instinct was wrong but I learned to live with it. No woman should be shot down for thinkung their baby is a specific gender and being disappointed when they're not. Try to respect their feelings because chances are once that baby is born those feelings will dissapear.
Heres the link to the badass breastfeeders blog post: http://www.thebadassbreastfeeder.com/gender-disappointment/
Sunday, 19 January 2014
Normally I would be straight on the cold a flu tablets the only problem this time is I'm in the dreaded two week wait. Typical. After almost 3.5 years of TTC I want to say screw it, what's the chances it's happened this cycle. I have my usual AF symptoms and I certainly don't 'feel' pregnant and I have always known long before testing that I'm pregnant previously.
But nope. Something holding me back. I like to call it the 'just incase guilt'. We all suffer from it, well us women anyhow. The 'oh I won't have that glass of wine' or 'I won't have that runny egg sandwich' JUST INCASE!!
So here I am with a mug of Twinnings vanilla, chamomile and honey tea secretly wishing I could have a huge mug of coffee and some cold and flu tablets, but I swear if she (Aunt flo) turns up Friday she will be getting a piece of my mind!! Because there's nothing like shouting at your genitals to make you feel better, right?
Saturday, 14 December 2013
All you have to do is Like my Facebook Page here.
follow me on Twitter here. (Optional)
And comment below telling me what you have asked Santa for this year ;).
Open to Mainland UK Only.
Winner will be chosen at random on Monday 16th December 2013 at 9pm
The DVD will be posted 1st Class recorded Tuesday 17th December 2013. If you are not home to sign it will be at your local delivery office.
This giveaway away is in no way associated with Anybody.
I cannot take respinsibility for prizes lost/damaged during transit. Im sending it signed for in a hope to avoid any issues.
Good luck everyone. Dont forget to share with your friends ;)
Friday, 13 December 2013
Entering our 4th year of TTC baby no2 and, well, ive given up hope but I'm still not ready to give up trying and yes I know that makes no sense.
Reasons for giving up hope are, hubby and I literally get no time together. Our 4 year old still sleeps with me and has stopped sleeping 7pm -11pm recently which used to be our bit of time together (when he wasnt on lates or sleep ins) but now C is up and down like a yo yo and some nights I wonder why I even bothered climbing the stairs to bed. The lack of sleep and our 8 hours of 'us' time a week seems to have left us bickering worse than ever and we are really good bickerers ;) (is that even a word?).
The other reason is probably clear from the picture in this post. I had just 3 complete cycles in 2013. Just 3 chances to conceive the precious bundle I so desperately long for.
The first cycle of 2014, because of their longevity, began of the 1st Dec 2013. This cycle im taking the usual Sanatogen mum to be and mumomega and hubby is continuing his wellman reproduction. But this cycle I am also taking inositol which seems to becoming a popular product in the PCOS community and you can read more about it here. I will also Finally be using the kit that was sent to me by the fine people at Zestica.
Today is CD13 so I still have a long way to go going by this years cycles.
Who knows what 2014 will bring.
Saturday, 7 December 2013
If you have ever seen Harry Potter you can probably remember Mrs Weasly screeching that when Ron, Fred and George came back from rescuing Harry in the second film.
So where HAVE I been?
I believe I left you a little stranded just before our appointment with the fertility consultant and life just kind of took over and the blog has been abandened.
Well it turned out I do in fact have PCOS. I know I was a bit peeved after being told I didnt have it but never mind. Hubby is a ok though so I guess thats something. We've been discharged though until I have lost weight. No real guidence or support just "lose weight and if no luck in 12 months come back".
I did feel good on the day but since then I feel like I have kinda been left t to swim in a lake of black tar. I feel completely alone. Stupid I know.
I did join a couple if PCOS groups on facebook but thr women are so low, practically suicidal from all the symptoms and the no luck conceiving. I feel so awful for them. Im so lucky to have just one child. But this longing- I just cannot seem to shift it.
What else has happened? Well C turned the big 4 today. Cannot believe he will be starting school in 9 months.
I think thats all for now. I do have giveaways and reviews to sort out but I think I may leave them until the new year now. Something for you all to luck forward too. ;)