Coughs, colds and the 2 week wait.

C has been back at school for 2 week, the equivalent of 5 days spread over this 2 weeks and he's already brought home a nice cold for us all to share.

Normally I would be straight on the cold a flu tablets the only problem this time is I'm in the dreaded two week wait. Typical. After almost 3.5 years of TTC I want to say screw it, what's the chances it's happened this cycle. I have my usual AF symptoms and I certainly don't 'feel' pregnant and I have always known long before testing that I'm pregnant previously.

But nope. Something holding me back. I like to call it the 'just incase guilt'. We all suffer from it, well us women anyhow. The 'oh I won't have that glass of wine' or 'I won't have that runny egg sandwich' JUST INCASE!!

So here I am with a mug of Twinnings vanilla, chamomile and honey tea secretly wishing I could have a huge mug of coffee and some cold and flu tablets, but I swear if she (Aunt flo) turns up Friday she will be getting a piece of my mind!! Because there's nothing like shouting at your genitals to make you feel better, right?

WIN: 101 Dalmatians DVD: superfast christmas giveaway!

Fancy winning a brand new copy of 101 Dalmatians to add to your little ones Disney collection?

All you have to do is Like my Facebook Page here.

follow me on Twitter here. (Optional)

And comment below telling me what you have asked Santa for this year ;).

Rules. 

Open to Mainland UK Only.
Winner will be chosen at random on Monday 16th December 2013 at 9pm
The DVD will be posted 1st Class recorded Tuesday 17th December 2013. If you  are not home to sign it will be at your local delivery office.
This giveaway away is in no way associated with Anybody.
I cannot take respinsibility for prizes lost/damaged during transit. Im sending it signed for in a hope to avoid any issues.

Good luck everyone. Dont forget to share with your friends ;)

PCOS: Cycle 1 2014: What are we trying this cycle?

Entering our 4th year of TTC baby no2 and, well, ive given up hope but I'm still not ready to give up trying and yes I know that makes no sense.

Reasons for giving up hope are, hubby and I literally get no time together. Our 4 year old still sleeps with me and has stopped sleeping 7pm -11pm recently which used to be our bit of time together (when he wasnt on lates or sleep ins) but now C is up and down like a yo yo and some nights I wonder why I even bothered climbing the stairs to bed. The lack of sleep and our 8 hours of 'us' time a week seems to have left us bickering worse than ever and we are really good bickerers ;) (is that even a word?).
The other reason is probably clear from the picture in this post. I had just 3 complete cycles in 2013. Just 3 chances to conceive the precious bundle I so desperately long for. 

The first cycle of 2014, because of their longevity, began of the 1st Dec 2013. This cycle im taking the usual Sanatogen mum to be and mumomega and hubby is continuing his wellman reproduction. But this cycle I am also taking inositol which seems to becoming a popular product in the PCOS community and you can read more about it here. I will also Finally be using the kit that was sent to me by the fine people at Zestica.

Today is CD13 so I still have a long way to go going by this years cycles. 
Who knows what 2014 will bring.

Where HAVE you been?

If you have ever seen Harry Potter you can probably remember Mrs Weasly screeching that when Ron, Fred and George came back from rescuing Harry in the second film.

So where HAVE I been?

I believe I left you a little stranded just before our appointment with the fertility consultant and life just kind of took over and the blog has been abandened.

Well it turned out I do in fact have PCOS. I know I was a bit peeved after being told I didnt have it but never mind. Hubby is a ok though so I guess thats something. We've been discharged though until I have lost weight. No real guidence or support just "lose weight and if no luck in 12 months come back".

Great.

I did feel good on the day but since then I feel like I have kinda been left t to swim in a lake of black tar. I feel completely alone. Stupid I know.
I did join a couple if PCOS groups on facebook but thr women are so low, practically suicidal from all the symptoms and the no luck conceiving. I feel so awful for them. Im so lucky to have just one child. But this longing- I just cannot seem to shift it.

What else has happened? Well C turned the big 4 today. Cannot believe he will be starting school in 9 months. 

I think thats all for now. I do have giveaways and reviews to sort out but I think I may leave them until the new year now. Something for you all to luck forward too. ;)

Anger, Break ups and then the best news ever (almost)!

I haven't blogged for a while. I will be honest, it's simply because I have been in a bad place and I didn't want my blog filled with negativity. So I decided it was best to stay away until I got my self together. You'll be pleased to know I have :).
August and September are always hard for us. Every year's the same as we remember our Angel's anniversaries tensions get fraught and this year the 26th September marked 3 years since our last loss. Our 'rice' as the baby was nicknamed. The last piece of our puzzle, our perfect age gap, our souls were destroyed that day.
Many of you will have been in similar circumstances I'm sure. Losing a baby, at any stage, changes everything. The way you feel about about yourself, each other, the guilt, the grief, the what if's? Even though people tell I should be grateful for what I have and move on, I can't. Intact it's one of my most hated statements ever. 'Move on'? Never. Gonna. Happen.
This year has been probably the worst so far. There was so much anger and hate in this house and I felt so neglected with hubby working so much I just couldn't take it anymore and I thought the best thing to do was leave. I applied for a housing association home near my mother and got all mine and C's important documents ready and I really was ready to leave.

I didn't leave.

I wasn't scared, I had plenty of support around me so the transition would have been relatively easy, for me. I have no idea how C would have responded. That did scare and worry me a little.
Nothing in life is easy though is it. Grieving for a baby you wanted so desperately certainly isn't easy. Even 3 years later.
It has been worth staying though, I think, for now. I am slowly actually putting some effort into rebuilding myself. Forcing myself to talk to people and I have been pleasantly surprised by the outcome.
And the good news? We see our fertility consultant for the first time on the 31st October. I cannot wait to get this process going and hopefully give C a little Bro or Sis SOON!! Six months of almost non stop tests has definitely been worth it :).


Join us on Facebook www.facebook.com/BroodyNews (giveaway coming soon!!)
and Twitter www.twitter.com/BroodyNews

Our Butlins excitement.

     I applied to be a Butlins Ambassador this year. It was a long shot and I knew that. My blog is fairly new compared to other fantastic bloggers out there and my lack of Facebook likers and twitter follower numbers didn't stead in my favour,  but still when I got my 'rejection' email I was a little disappointed.

     My mum came by yesterday with a surprise up her sleeve. It's been a hard year in lots of ways, ways we don't talk about to anybody, but my mum declared that she wanted to pay for a break for us to give us something to look forward too, a 3 night weekend break in October - to Butlins. We literally could not be more grateful for this and are really excited. It's going to do us all the world of good and as my mum paid for the premium dining package also we've not got to worry about trying to find to much spending money, after all there is plenty of free things for Charlie to do all day and all the way up to bedtime and then some!

    I will do more blog posts on the run up to our break away. We've been to Butlins twice since Charlie was born and its great family break away in the UK.

Latest Baby Bargain - #TTC baby stash

Just a quick post to share with you my latest baby bargain. I've not bought anything for a while and have taken a break from adding to my nappy stash until I am actually pregnant but when I got my smiley face last weekend I couldn't help but have a peek at baby stuff on eBay. And that's when I came across a sleep sack, brand new for a bargain £1.99 plus £2.45 1st class recorded delivery. It's Arrived today and its better than I expected. I thought it would be seconds or have a fault of some sort but it doesn't. It's nice and thin maybe 0.5 tog so ideal if my next baby will be like Charlie and get boiling hot even in the peak of winter- most definitely takes after his dad there!!! 

Anyway if you want to get one for yourself it's eBay item number: 251273921762 sorry I can't post a link as I'm blogging via my iPod. Oh the sack says its for ages 3-9 months. 

Here's the picture I stole from the listing itself :p